Wednesday, September 28, 2016

It's A Whirling Dervish!!

Holy Smokes!!  September has been a month of craziness.  Long story short, shoulder muscle tear, cancer and I bought a house.
NOT MY MRI!!

First things first, back in May 2016 I was doing my household chores and reached into the dryer to take out the clothes and "OUCH!"  I figured it would pass, yeah, nope, didn't pass and not feeling better.  So I saw my PCP 9/13 and she ordered a MRI.

Getting the MRI scheduled turned out to take longer than expected because I did not want to go to the MRI at the physicians practice. After 2 days they called to say that the office could not book the scan without a pre-auth and she reiterated she could book me at THEIR facility.  Um...no...I want to go to Shields.

Upon returning to work on that Friday, I spoke with the CIO about the whole pre-auth thing.  He said, why I was asking, so he was informed that I was in need of a scan and my physicians office tried to book one and was told they couldn't do it without pre-auth; but they could book at their facility without one.  His reply, "Hold on, we can fix that.  What do you need scanned and when and what do you want it done?" 

I really do work for a wonderful company.  Benefits may not be the best, but my co-workers and the employees here are fantastic.  Let's just say this, we take care of our own.  The motto our company lives by is "treat everyone like they are a family member" 2 days later, scanned; 2 hours later report read and submitted to my PCP.  Have I heard from my PCP yet, no.  Do I know what's wrong, heck yeah.

Now the second event is a little troubling but I do not have fear.
Three years ago, in September, I had a thyroidectomy because of cancer.  Out it came and and I have been cancer free, until.....

I don't want to get in depth, after all, this is the Internet and you have no idea who is reading it.  When you are a female you know when something isn't quite right.  Well, I knew something was not right when Aunt Flo was showing up sporadically for 3 weeks straight.  So I made a call and was booked the very next day for an appointment.

I have spent entirely too much time with my legs in stirrups riding a ghost horse with no name.  A smear, an ultrasound and a biopsy later, results come back on 9/21 as cancer.  Freaking wonderful!!  All my lady parts below the waist need to be exercised like a demon - ASAP.

I can not lie, that diagnosis kind of gripped me by the gut and put me into a 24 hour session of unknowing and fear.  Why me? Why now?  I don't have time for cancer and everything that goes along with it?  I have more things I want to do? God, what the heck, didn't I pass my test of faith the last time?  Don't you know I am buying a house? I have obligation and commitments that I take seriously...come on!!

Saw the gynecologist oncologist yesterday 09/22 to confirm diagnosis and schedule surgery for 10/3 to get the parts removed.  I am glad it is fast tracked, I have a vacation in November. I know, health first but I LIVE for my vacations.

If the results of the pathology prove that cancer is contained and has not spread I will be good to go. Normal recovery time six weeks, short recovery time 2-3 weeks.  If the pathology comes back and it has spread further treatment will be necessary.  We will cross that bridge when and if it gets here.  No need to worry, worry only steals joy from life, and dang it, life is too short.  I am enjoying my time here.

People say I look at life through rose colored glasses.  That may be true 3/4 of the time, because I choose to look for the good in all things, BUT I acknowledge the other 1/4 of the time where realist views are necessary.

I am hopeful because God is concerned with everything about me and I have faith that tells me whatever it is, God has this and things will be as He plans.  This is not a shock to God, but it is a shock to me.  We all have an expiration date, I'm just hoping mine does not come up for a LONG time.  This is a testimony in the making to prove God is good in ALL things.

Time to bring this post up to my normal happy place. If all this medical madness was not enough stress for one person, I closed on my house today!!

We have been living in a family home for 12 years now paying rent that covered all the basics of house maintenance, no one was getting rich and we had a roof over my head. Again, no need to get into the specifics but we bought the house and now I have a mortgage. Buying a house was not on my bucket list but God has a plan.

Oh, I almost forgot!! This coming Sunday, 9/25, #theleakinglady and #thedrippydiva are doing a color run in Providence.  I still need to keep moving!!

So here I sit, shoulder muscle tear, lady part cancer, a new mortgage, planning a Disney trip, doing a colorful 5K this weekend and happy to be alive.

I think I need to go for a walk....

Sending you all love from #thedrippydiva

Saturday, September 10, 2016

MOVE IT or BUST

One of the questions that some of my friends have asked me is
  • "Why are you exercising?"
  • "What motivates you?"
  • "How do you stay motivated?"


Those are 3 questions which I think about and rehash often.  So here are my answers today (subject to change depending on my mood).

Let me be up front and tell you all this....I don't enjoy exercising.  The professionals tell us "exercise, it makes you feel better", "exercising gives you energy," "you will sleep better," "exercise relieves stress."

For some, these may be a true statements.  For me, it's  horse pucky. When I am done exercising I am tired, sweaty, and I feel like a 5'7" pile of blah.  I have no more energy now then I had 10 months ago when I started this whole process.  *Disclaimer* I have always had plenty of energy so that is why I notice no change. My sleeping pattern has not changed, on average I get 6 hours of sleep on weekdays and I am lucky to get 7 on weekends. My internal body alarm goes off at 4:30 so there is no getting around it.  But I digress...

1. First question that needs to be answered is Why?
Basically the reasons why I do this is over the past few years, whenever I saw my primary MD she always brought up my weight and all my diagnoses.  Obese, high blood pressure, acid reflux, type 2 diabetes, my health post thyroid cancer (I am fine - nothing to report - no cancer has returned). Her topic of discussion, weight loss surgery.  She has talked to me at length about the options and her recommendation is to have gastric bypass surgery.

This is a serious surgery (and like marriage) should not be entered into lightly.  It would mean a total revamp of my lifestyle (and my husbands). Surgery is an option that may be right for some people at different stages of thier lives.  At this point in my life, I do not wish to go down that path, for now. So the path to a smaller, lighter, and healthier me is old school diet and exercising.

2. What motivates me?
Hmmmm...the fact that I do not want to go under the knife is one MAJOR motivator. The committment I made to exercise and be an accoutability partner to my "sister-in-sweat" is reason number two. I promised I would exercise 3 times a week, so when my word is given, I do my best to keep it.

3. How do I stay motivated?
Simple answer, refer to the question 2 above above.

There are some frivilous and selfish reasons why I am doing this as well, I can not lie.  If you know anything about me, you know my vaction spot of choice is WDW.  Going to the happiest place on earth requires LOTS of walking (minimum 9-12 miles A DAY), but it also requires stuffing myself into airplane seats and ride vehicles. Both things can be challenging and humiliating.

I hate the fact that when boarding a plane I need to ask for a seatbelt extender. I dislike the fact that my poor husband gets stuck in the middle seat so my girth and fatness does not invade a strangers space.  Just once it would be so nice to tell  him "Babe, of course you can take the window seat."

The uncomfortable feeling of worrying that I will not fit in a ride vehicle at the parks and not be able to enjoy ride makes me sad and anxious.  At Disney, fitting in a ride vehicle is not normally an issue (Disney ride vehicles are Pooh-sized friendly), but occasionally when I get in one, my constant companion know as "bertha" gets in the way of a lapbar or seatbeat. I have to physcially pick "her"up and then put "her" down so the lapbar or seatbelt can be in a proper position for the ride to proceed safely.  It is not very comfortable and is very embarrasing.

So a small goal is that by my next vacation, I hope to not be asking for an seatbelt extender when I get on the plane.  I will know sooner rather than later.
Who Wants Bling?
What girl likes bling?  This girl!!  So as small goals I have been doing 5K races, both in person and virtually (we can cover virtual racing at a later date.) Another goal that was set is to do a Disney Princess 5K AT WDW - that is happening Feb 2017.  I am signed up and currently walking/running trying to achieve a 16 minute mile - I am almost there.  What do you get at the end of every race? BLING BLING!!

I don't want adult..
I know that if I do not exercise 3 times a week I will never get to the time goal needed for the Princess 5K, nor will I be able to lose weight successful (having no thyroid also impeeds the process.)  Those facts (and my hands) get my ample size deriere dressed and out the door, that and a promise. As long as I am upright, and I am physically sound (no colds or injuries) I am getting dressed and hitting the pavement or "dreadmill" weather dictates location.

There are days that I JUST DO NOT want to exercise, and there are somedays my schedule and the schedule of my partner in sweat do not line up (I prefer not going alone - if I have to sweat someone is getting sweaty with me.) For days like that, I put out the call out to my friends or drag my most faithful groom with me. Thank GOD for my friends & Chad, without them this journey would not be as successful.  I also know me, if one day is skipped, one turns into two and then, BAM!!,  its been a week and I have not moved.

So that is what keep me moving and loosing.

Friends, I know that this journey to better health is not easy and can sometimes feel lonley, and be very frustrating to say the least.  It also know that you my feel like you are doing all that you can and the scale is not moving and there are no visual physical changes.

Know this, everything you do will yeild results - the changes may be happening internally, but they are happening.  Please know, you are not alone.  Just keep moving and grooving ladies it will pay off in the end (and I am not talking about your backside)...if this #drippydiva can do it ANYONE can.

That's it for now...someone get me a towel the sweat is on!